Sex, Religion, Politics, Race, Violence,- It's all here

If someone with full blown schizophrenia is having a conversation with George Washington, is that conversation any less real to them, as one you have with your family is to you? What we believe as truth is our reality. We base these beliefs on not only our five senses, but something additional. So, for the person with schizophrenia, does that fact that you know that to speak with George Washington impossible, wrong or untrue relevant? Is he hurting anyone by having his conversation? I don’t think so. We cannot escape the horror in the world unless we close ourselves off to the world completely. It is on T.V., Radio, Internet; our families, friends and co-workers discuss it. How can we get see the good through all of this? How could we know that human kind is really generally good and caring, even outside of those we are familiar with. The pain, scandal, corruption and injustice is what we see, hear, discuss and know to be true.  Could this be our George Washington? 

American's are taught that all other countries hate us because we have it better than they do. Does this actually make sense to anyone? Do you hate your neighbor to the point of wanting harm or death to come them because they have it better than you? Jealousy sure, but would you want them dead, tortured or imprisoned for the rest of their lives? Would you kill them yourself? Do you know anyone who would? Most would not conceive of it (outside of innocent fantasy). While murder is committed over greed, we all know this, this is not the rule to human kind, it is the exception.  

In my observations, which I attempt to maintain objectivity in, everyone is guilty of unjust discrimination, even me in spite of my attempts at remaining open-minded.  I’ve seen it from all races, religions, age groups, and classes. I have also seen that it is most commonly not intentional. I had a boss once who made statements along the lines of “It’s not (sexist, racist, etc. ), it’s statistics”, when in fact, it may have been an obscure statistic that wasn’t actually relevant to the issue at hand. He did this for years, and surprising, was never sued to my knowledge. I believe he avoided repercussion for this because it was obvious, to everyone, that it really was unintentional. I have even seen it from the most passionate believers in equality among all men. They truly believe these ideals deep in their hearts, and do not see that for this to be true, it would also apply to say a skinhead, for example. 

I am a believer that all people are entitled to their own personal beliefs, period. I am not perfect when it comes to catching my errors, and my inadvertent attempts to force others to adopt my beliefs because they are “Right”. Most beliefs that I hold in the “Right” category, are largely in tune with the vast majority of society, but will never be all of society. I do not believe that children or those incapable of protected themselves should be victimized. To be clear on this subject though, the word victimized should be clarified. I am referring to inflicted physical, psychological and emotional harm, that is imposed upon the victim intentionally or by means of neglect. Neglect in it’s actual meaning is intentional, not an act of those incapable of knowing better. I am not referring to the prospect of harm being interpreted as harm to their eternal soul based on a specific set of religious beliefs. These are supposed to be Free in America, and I do believe in that.

I spent a short period of time volunteering as a sexual assault advocate. The last person I helped was a young girl, barely into puberty, who had been forcibly and traumatically raped. This story never made the news, there are no police reports, or any documentation anywhere that I’m aware of. This is because she was initially ashamed and afraid to tell anyone. So she didn’t. She came to me after she’d confided in her friend’s mom, who bought her a pregnancy test. As I’m sure you’ve gathered, the results were positive.  This little girl, who was one year older than my daughter is now, sobbed on my shoulder for five hours that day. I’d never even met her before this. She was completely full of a specific fear and a specific pain I have never felt first hand. She was afraid that her family wouldn’t believe that the pregnancy was the result of rape. She was afraid that her strict catholic family would shun her.

I consoled her for hours on end, and arranged to go speak to her family for her (which was against the rules). I went to her home at the arranged time and knocked on her door. I introduced myself and gave a vague explanation of who I was with and what I was there to do.  My heart broke as I sat in this women’s home, the home of this child, and explained to her mother what occurred, and that her little girl was now pregnant. I sobbed as the little girls fears proved warranted. Her mother did not believe that she had been raped. I knew in my heart that the little girl was being truthful. I sobbed with her mother for several hours just as I did the little girl. The mother was not callous; she did not lack sympathy for her beloved daughter. She feared for her. I do not believe in my heart that the mother didn’t believe her daughters account of events. I believe she knew the additional trauma that was looming. I felt the fear from both of them that this horrible tragedy was going to cost them their entire lives as they knew it, their church, friends, and community. Everything.  She was certain her fears would be reality when I informed her that the girl did not seem able to cope with reporting this to police, and had adamantly expressed a desire not to. She was just as adamant regarding not telling her father. 

The mother then did something that some will view as wrong. I ask that you try to see the other side of this coin. The mother demanded an abortion. This nearly destroyed the mother, as she knew and believed completely, that this decision would certainly condemn her to an eternity in hell. She did not leave her daughter an option, and as the girl was too young to determine for herself in that particular state, it was final. The side of this that so many do not see, is that for both of their realities, this mother sacrificed her eternal soul to spare her daughter any more trauma than was unavoidable. The trauma that loomed for a little girl loosing everyone and everything she loved in her life was more profound to the child, than a medical procedure. The little girl did understand what the procedure was meant to do, but she did not understand the gravity. This little girl understood that something horrible had happened to her that was outside of her control, and she understood that she faced losing everything she knew for it. Her mother and I both knew that one day the full understanding would set in, and that the memory would never fade. We both knew that the trauma from this was certain to destroy their once very close relationship as those realizations developed; as the understanding of the mother’s position wouldn’t come until much later. We also knew that it could never be discussed in their family from then on. 

The little girl’s doctor fit her in his schedule about a week after my meeting with her mom. They both asked that I go with them, and just pray for them. Of course I did. We all sobbed through the entire appointment, but nothing occurred on this one but discussion. I can’t recall how many appointments took place exactly; they have all merged into one intermingled memory wrought with agony. I do recall that there were at least two, as the doctor saw the pain behind this decision and wouldn’t proceed unless they were certain. They both also asked me to go with them for the procedure, and I did. I stood by the little girl’s head with her mother. None of us looked in the direction of the doctor at any point. We sobbed and prayed together.  The sobs grew uncontrollable as the doctor solemnly stood and quietly instructed the nurse to begin cleaning up the little girl. 

I did not do any further advocacy work in this field after this. This was a selfish decision strictly for the sake of my sanity. I do not feel that I acted against God in any way. I know, that seems shocking to some, but please let me explain. I knew from the moment that this little girl came to me, I knew deep in my heart and through every part of me God that did not want for me to be the judge of  them. God did not want me to interpret his will. God’s intention for me in this unthinkable situation was simply to be a reminder to these shattered children of God, that he still loves them. He loves them no matter what, and that no matter how hard this was, they were not alone and God would see them through.

I feel there are many lessons to be learned from this. I certainly learned volumes. I have always had somewhat unique views and beliefs when it comes to religion as far as I can tell. I do not believe that the teachers of the bible are speaking God’s word, and it is never to be questioned. I do not even believe that there is no chance at all that, through all of the interpretations at the hands of flawed human beings, that every word in the bible is what it originally said. These are my beliefs, and I do not expect anyone to agree or disagree, I am fine with whichever you chose. I know in my heart that God wants us to care for each other and be there for each other. I know that God is very much a part of each of us, some just chose to ignore him. I know that God knows how hard this life can be, and that he, more than anyone else, truly understands. I know that God will forgive both, the little girl and her mother, as well as myself. I know this because I know how much I love my child, and I know the unquestioned willingness to sacrifice even my eternal soul for the sake of my child, just as this girl’s mom did.  

My heart hurts when I hear of people pressing for laws that will restrict anyone from moving forward with the fundamentally religious beliefs they believe in their heart to be true. My heart hurts for the Anarchists who are shunned simply because they feel that God is not with them, does not exist. This is not something that should be punished or condemned. This is a feeling that is profound and as real to them as any other experience. We should be there for them in whatever way THEY need us to be. My heart hurts whenever someone faces obstacles in being with the person they love regardless of homo or heterosexuality. Forbidding this by law, or pressing for obstacles to be placed in the way is cruel to them. It hurts them deeply, and leaves them feeling as if they have been abandoned, at least on some level. I realize that many religions believe that homosexuality is an abomination, but I beg you to remember that whether you believe it be right, wrong, or that it requires that they need some sort of healing, God does not instruct us to hurt one another in any portion of the Bible I’ve read. God also gave us ALL free will. "Cures" in any fashion cannot be forced on the unwilling, they will rebel. If help is wanted, be there for them. Your only options are to fight them or accept them.  When helping another one of God’s children, how you feel is not supposed to be the driving force or any portion of the motivation. It is about them. God created all of us. Every race, class, and both genders. I truly believe that to do God’s work you must first be willing to accept all of God’s children as they are. I also believe the strict distinction between God, Booda, Ala or whomever is far more a difference of culture and language than it is a difference of God’s. All major religions speak of the same fundamental beliefs. God is very clear in Thall Shall not Judge. Be good and loving to each other. Do not harm each other. Be there for each other. I also believe that even Atheists hold these beliefs in their hearts regardless of views of God and Religion. That is what I have always been taught to be "The God in Man". Being so traumatized by the pain and suffering one faces in this life that they harden their outer shell and refrain from displaying these softer, kinder aspects of humanity, even for the most hardened criminals, does not mean that these things do not exist in them. I think to truly do God’s work, the goal should be to try to heal each other’s pain. God does not care what you call him as long as you love whenever possible. 

I apologize for the length of this post, I felt an overwhelming need to try.  In my other posts, if you read them, you won’t see as much of this side of me. I am boisterous, and opinionated, and share it with the world.  At times, I even forget myself and say hurtful things. With the disturbing, and terrifying decisions our government has been making, and sheer power they have assumed they have; I felt a need to try to offer some understanding to all American’s and anyone else who will hear it. 

It is no coincidence that the entire world, for the most part, has crumbled and gone into a state of chaos. No, I’m not going into Armageddon theories here, that’s not up to us either.  It’s no coincidence, I believe, because it is being done to us. All of us. It is no coincidence that the laws necessary for our government to do to us as they please, taking away all of the rights God gave us, have been passed now.  It is no coincidence that the laws that give our government control of all of our resources (Fema Bill passed in November) now. It is also no coincidence that we have been guided toward hate, discontent, or even just discomfort with each other to the point that we are vastly divided. 

It does not matter if we like each, if we agree with each. Religion, politics, sexuality, race, age and gender do not matter right now. If these things matter to you, so be it, your allowed. I am asking from the bottom of my heart that you set them aside for the sake of those you do like, agree with and love. This is happening to all of us. We all know the government is corrupt, we know they have decided they can take our rights away,  we know they do not look out for our interests not to mention best interest. It doesn’t matter if your part of the Occupy Movement, Tea Party, Black Panthers, Skin Heads, Hells Angels or other. If we do not take our rights back together, they will have them, and we will ALL be subject to the government’s judgment. We have all seen how that goes.  If the only thing we understand about each other is that we don’t understand each other, that’s fine too. Just please for the sake of all of us, understand that long enough to stand together. Standing directly next to those you do like is fine.